Near Miss

now i seem to be on a role… on sunday i had to attend another friends birthday.  this was a tough one because it involved all of the mutual friends. yup, all. of. them. 

the party started at 2pm but i figured i’d linger for a bit; maybe jump in the shower at about 2:30 or 3 and see how it went from there. if i knew those people, and i do, they’d be going all night anyways especially given that monday was a holiday.   

so after my shower, i slowly took my time getting ready; again i did the make-up just right, put on casual but adorable clothing and added the finishing touch of a light scented fragrance. 

now for the tough part. 

i got into the car and sat back while the anxiety took hold. i reminded myself to breathe… telling myself, “you look great and you know everyone there”.  i eventually rode it out and started the engine. i made it the party with only one drive-by and no sign of “his” car.  whew.  parked and headed in.  now the rest was actually entertaining annoying.  as i walked into the house i was quickly approached by several people who haven’t seen me in months. got numerous compliments and no mention of d. no mention of d until i got midway across the backyard.  i knew it had to come.  of course his best friend m was the first to mention us d.  i can always count on m; he looked me over told me he was loving the hair and that i looked great.  he told me i just missed d and that we must have timed it like that.  sure i said and tried to move on.  i was then blocked another passerby.  “t, d was just here did you guys see each other?” and again… “don’t tell d but i was just checking you out. i didn’t realize it was you with the hair” and so on, and so on. 

by the time i had made my way through the masses of people, which reminded me all to well why i now avoid more then half of them, i was ready to go.  i sat for about 10 minutes with a friend i haven’t talked to since late january and then stood up and told her i had to get going, my excuse… well i didn’t have one, i was just done. it was too much for me.  i quickly ran out without even a goodbye, something i’m getting very good at.

as i made the great escape, my phone began to buzz. i looked down, a new text. ugh!  if i didn’t have a new phone i think i would sent it flying! as if handling the anxiety of going to this crackhead party in the first place didn’t cause enough grief but now i have to face the gossip circle as well.

“guess i just missed you, m told me you were at the party – d”.

“thank g-d for near misses – t”

 

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Venti Mint Mocha Chip No Whip Add D

yup… it finally happened.  it’s almost like men have a meter of “she’s forgetting me” or something.  they always turn up when you’ve begun to feel good, started to move on, closed the door, etc… you get my point. i can actually say i’ve been doing pretty good.  i’ve been out and about, gotten sun, colored my hair, all the basic taking care of myself type things. i have even been able to head greatly down the road of non self destructive calling and accepting calls.  points for t, right… right.

last night i got the 3 a.m. phone call and i have to say i did great avoiding it, in fact my avoidance skills have developed greatly. lets take today for example.  i woke up, stayed in bed for a few additional hours, by few additional i mean from the point of wake up until the point of needing to get up for a friends birthday party.  now i wanted to avoid this party but i promised another friend that i would attend it with the promise that we would be in and out in just a few hours. 

guess i should get to the point. so i got up showered, did my hair and put on make-up, even dressed in a cute little outfit… i have to say i looked pretty good… and thank g-d too because after my friend picked me up we realized we needed to stop for a gift. we decided to drop into a local papyrus to pick up a photo album but before i could do that i needed my morning, or by this point, my afternoon cup o’ joe.  she parked closely in front and she headed toward the ever so fancy papyrus while i walked toward starbucks.  i started heading in the direction and then quickly turned, as there, right in front was his car. d’s car for those not getting my hints. with that i turned around and quickly jumped in another direction, raising my hand to face, somewhat like the attitude an ostrich has… “oh if i hide my face no one can see me”… sure t that will work.  my friend shuffled me in the right direction and into starbucks we went.  okay t breathe. he wasn’t in there. whew! we ordered and waited, and waited, and waited… i told her to go ahead and grab the card and gift and i’ll wait for the drinks.  after all he wasn’t there, just his car was.  she went on so we could hurry on with the day. 

there i was alone waiting.  the drinks finally came and i was holding both venti mocha blah blahs i turned my back to the door to give it the shove with my booty, when i did so the door opened rather easily – so easily that i fell slightly backwards. i turned to thank whoever pulled the door for me and you guessed it. d. well he wasn’t the opening the door, that would be too movieish but he was the one sitting right in my path to papyrus. i nodded my head with acknowledgement and quickened my step. no go. he jumped up and said “wow, you changed your hair, it looks great. you look great” i said thanks and started to move again.  he looked at my hands.  “double fisting huh?” my retort was “no, it’s for someone”  his answer “who?” i said “my date.” and sassed off.  yes sassed off, laughing to myself. i definitely felt his eyes on my back. i was also hoping he wouldn’t see me meet up with my female friend as we met up and jumped into her car.

i will add this though, i was thankful that i did my make-up, that i was dressed for a day out, and that i was full of sass beacause most of my friends know that i’m not usually a cool liar, in fact they would tell you i probably couldn’t lie to save my life. nope. not. a. liar. so i would like to give a special thanks to starbucks for being exceptionally slow this afternoon and that i was holding my venti mint mocha and it’s sidekick venti cafe blah blah…

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I Wonder

what would have happened

• if i had waited out the bizarre drunken silence to see if the kiss would’ve happened
• if i had made the first move
• if i had not walked away
• if i didn’t turn my head
• if i lingered longer in the hug
• if i hadn’t wasted so much time
• if i didn’t laugh off his questions
• if i listened to my friends/people when they said they always thought we’d make a good couple
• if he thinks the same things
• if he notices the small bits of sexual tension

do i have a small crush?

yes i do. i have a few actually.

am i ready to tell anyone?

no.

this one is for me to keep inside me; well, for now at least. but i will tell you this…

he makes me laugh, he makes me forget d, he is far from my usual type, he pays, he’s taller then me, he likes football, he keeps an eye out on me, including my drink, he has great eyes (i only just recently noticed them), he listens to me, he calls d a douche – most likely because he has heard me do it, and best of all he makes me feel good about me.

the only things he’s missing are the few small yet important things, the opening of doors for me  (qtmama, we seem to agree on these), even when i drive, pulling out chairs, waiting for me to sit first, offering his coat, waiting for me and not walking quickly in front of me (i tend to lag a bit)… i hate to say this but d did those and a whole lot more, j used to say i was “spoiled”.  i don’t want to compare because d also did a whole lot of obnoxious things over the past year, but a girl needs those little extras… and, when you’re used to them it makes it even harder to not have them around. call me old fashioned or just picky but i think those small things are important.  some may say it’s about social class or upbringing but i think they are pretty important things and they definitely make me feel like a lady. or maybe i’m just spoiled

oh well, maybe he’ll learn and in the meantime i’ll let out a nice long sigh and continue to wonder.

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One Good Reason

to have a man around if not for the extracurricular activities, come on ladies you know that men aren’t the only ones who have a need sometimes, is to kill spiders.

yes you see i have a hard time with the creepy crawlies. in fact they can send me into a complete panic. well lately i’ve had 2 run-ins with the 8 legged, web making, blood sucking biters.

i’ll lay the scene.

it has been incredibly hot this weekend in good ol’ so cal, so hot that even with the a/c on i was still sleeping outside of my covers, something i never do, anyways i awoke at 5:45 a.m. to some tickling my upper thigh. normally this would be a good thing but i was alone in my bed and how good can an alone tickle be, not good right? right. i abruptly shifted myself and swung my hand down to scratch the tickle. as i opened my eyes there it was, sitting on my sheets – a big brown fuzzy spider! ewwww! and out of my mouth came the scream. poor g had to have woken from this. all i could do was sit there as the monstrous spider and i had our staring contest, who was going to make the first move? well he did – he took off down my bed and the thought of him escaping into the sheets or the darkness was all i could think of to get myself to move, he could hide out and come back at another time if i didn’t get him now. with no time to spare i grabbed the only object close enough to squish him with making any immediate contact, the remote. needless to say i won that battle and the next morning i told g he needed to get out the spray and foggers and go to work in my room as well as the rest of the house. he did.

this leads to my next horrific experience; one i could not do on my own. this one was far worse. she was not going to battle with me, i had to send g in for this one…

i pulled into  my garage this evening after work, jumped out of my truck started to walk away, then i saw her, all shinny and black, her hint of red on her under belly, and i swear we made eye contact and i know she sensed my fear. back into my truck i went and there i sat until my heart went back to it’s normal pace. “calm down, you’ll be fine, just slowly shuffle past her”. after about 10 minutes i mustered up the strength to move her way, as i had no choice, i had to pass her to get out of the garage.  after passing, not removing my eyes from her location, i ran up the condo a grabbed g, he can do this one! not. me. i repeat, not. me. he argued for hmm… about 1 minute before he realized he would not win this battle with me and it would be much easier for him to fight her.  he holstered up with a new can of raid and we walked out to the garage for the showdown – “g versus the black widow” we got there and he took one look.  “oh yeah that’s definitely a black widow web, (like i was lying) where did it go?” i pointed to the small drainage hole. he took the can and sprayed. we both silently waited for the 1.2 seconds it took for her to come pouncing out of the hole, yes she pounced and i jumped back at least 10 feet.  he held his ground and sprayed for another 10 seconds straight on her until she hit the ground.

then we saddled up and rode off into the sunset…

okay no we didn’t.  we went back upstairs, discovered we were locked out, knocked on the neighbors door (who we never met) asked to use the phone, called the spare key-holder and asked them to rescue the both of us.  they did. we went inside i made him a drink and we continued watching the basketball game. 

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Crash Course in Roommate-Isms

some things my roommate has taught me:

1. some strip clubs in vegas require binoculars
2. that it’s okay to take ecstasy on a weeknight at 10:30pm
3. that if you answer the phone at 4:45am he will love you
4. when leaving an evening flings house, don’t forget your shoes, wallet, and most important take your keys not theirs
5. that the military channel shows the same shows over and over
6. that fried green tomatoes will make men cry (this was actually verified by another guy)
7. that men don’t need the bottom sheet or pillow cases and are fine with just a comforter
8. that they are perfectly fine having a girl over without the items in #7
9. that nair is the greatest thing ever but it smells bad
10. that he will bring back the term “fuckin’ a”
11. that axe is not only a body spray but also a shampoo, body wash, cologne, shave cream, bathroom deodorizer, and air freshener and that it can filter through closed doors but, it does fade quickly. oh it also comes in travel sizes and mini bullets.

some things i have taught my roommate:

1. why bring binoculars to a strip club when you can just move closer
2. that taking ecstasy on a weeknight at 10:30am is a waste if you are just going to fall asleep
3. that if he is going to call at 4:45am the first words out of his mouth better be “i love you”
4. that it might be smarter to bring the evening fling here therefore he wont have to run out and worry about leaving things behind especially when she has a boyfriend
5. please… the military channel, need i say more
6. that fried green tomatoes makes everyone cry, it goes right there with steel magnolias
7. that if you use a bottom sheet and pillow cases you will have something to wrap or hold the rest of your laundry in when you have to go to the laundromat
8. that any girl perfectly fine with not having these items on the bed is definitely not a keeper and most likely not even a very good one stand
9. that girls do not like a prickly back from shaving and that nair will be better then shaving, he can do it himself, and will last longer.  we agreed on the scent…
10. by bringing back the term “fuckin’ a” he needs to be prepared to hear “fuck a b, it has more holes”
11. that axe is an overwhelming scent no matter which type he gets and it should be used minimally and only as a body spray, not as a shampoo, body wash, cologne, shave cream, bathroom deodorizer, and air freshener. it is not a shower substitute and that having it filter through closed doors is awful even if it does fade quickly. oh, and the fact that it is so portable scares me.

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