One Good Reason

to have a man around if not for the extracurricular activities, come on ladies you know that men aren’t the only ones who have a need sometimes, is to kill spiders.

yes you see i have a hard time with the creepy crawlies. in fact they can send me into a complete panic. well lately i’ve had 2 run-ins with the 8 legged, web making, blood sucking biters.

i’ll lay the scene.

it has been incredibly hot this weekend in good ol’ so cal, so hot that even with the a/c on i was still sleeping outside of my covers, something i never do, anyways i awoke at 5:45 a.m. to some tickling my upper thigh. normally this would be a good thing but i was alone in my bed and how good can an alone tickle be, not good right? right. i abruptly shifted myself and swung my hand down to scratch the tickle. as i opened my eyes there it was, sitting on my sheets – a big brown fuzzy spider! ewwww! and out of my mouth came the scream. poor g had to have woken from this. all i could do was sit there as the monstrous spider and i had our staring contest, who was going to make the first move? well he did – he took off down my bed and the thought of him escaping into the sheets or the darkness was all i could think of to get myself to move, he could hide out and come back at another time if i didn’t get him now. with no time to spare i grabbed the only object close enough to squish him with making any immediate contact, the remote. needless to say i won that battle and the next morning i told g he needed to get out the spray and foggers and go to work in my room as well as the rest of the house. he did.

this leads to my next horrific experience; one i could not do on my own. this one was far worse. she was not going to battle with me, i had to send g in for this one…

i pulled into  my garage this evening after work, jumped out of my truck started to walk away, then i saw her, all shinny and black, her hint of red on her under belly, and i swear we made eye contact and i know she sensed my fear. back into my truck i went and there i sat until my heart went back to it’s normal pace. “calm down, you’ll be fine, just slowly shuffle past her”. after about 10 minutes i mustered up the strength to move her way, as i had no choice, i had to pass her to get out of the garage.  after passing, not removing my eyes from her location, i ran up the condo a grabbed g, he can do this one! not. me. i repeat, not. me. he argued for hmm… about 1 minute before he realized he would not win this battle with me and it would be much easier for him to fight her.  he holstered up with a new can of raid and we walked out to the garage for the showdown – “g versus the black widow” we got there and he took one look.  “oh yeah that’s definitely a black widow web, (like i was lying) where did it go?” i pointed to the small drainage hole. he took the can and sprayed. we both silently waited for the 1.2 seconds it took for her to come pouncing out of the hole, yes she pounced and i jumped back at least 10 feet.  he held his ground and sprayed for another 10 seconds straight on her until she hit the ground.

then we saddled up and rode off into the sunset…

okay no we didn’t.  we went back upstairs, discovered we were locked out, knocked on the neighbors door (who we never met) asked to use the phone, called the spare key-holder and asked them to rescue the both of us.  they did. we went inside i made him a drink and we continued watching the basketball game.